[THE SIMPSONS ARCHIVE] [FAQS, GUIDES & LISTS] The Simpsons Song Lyrics Originally by Dominik Halas Maintained by Jouni Paakkinen This document lists the lyrics of original songs and song parodies from The Simpsons. It does not include previously existing songs performed on The Simpsons without any lyrical modification. Additions are welcome and will be credited. Also, if you notice there's a song missing, please let me know. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 7G06 Second Grade Blues {rc} Murphy: Oh, I'm so lonely, Since my baby left me. I got no money, And nothing is free. Oh, I've been so alone Since the day I was born. All I got is this rusty, This rusty old horn. Lisa: I got a bratty brother. He bugs me everyday. And this morning my own mother, Gave my last cupcake away. My Dad acts like he belongs, He belongs in the zoo. I'm the sa-a-a-addest kid, In gra-a-a-de number two. (Bleeding Gums Murphy later sings Lisa's portion of the song at The Jazz Hole.) 7G08 Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer (Simpson version) {cb} All: Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, Had a very shiny nose, And if you ever saw it, You would even say it glows. Bart: Like a light bulb! Homer: Bart! All: All of the other reindeer, Used to laugh and call him names. Lisa: Like Schnozzola! Homer: Lisa! All: They never let poor Rudolph, Join in any reindeer games. Bart: Like strip poker! Homer: I'm warning you two! All: Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say, Marge: Take it Homer! Homer: Err... Rudolph, get your nose over here, So you can guide my sleigh... today. Grampa: Oh, Homer... All: Then all the reindeer loved him, And they shouted out with glee: Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, You'll go down in history! Bart: Like Attila the H- ugh, urk! Homer: You little... grrrr! 7F01 Vote Burns Jingle {bs} Only a moron wouldn't cast his vote For Monty Burns! 7F05 Capital City {rc} (version sung as OFF enters Capital City:) (lines by members of OFF are spoken, not sung; Tony's line "Hey, good to see you" is also spoken.) Homer: Well, kids, there it is! Capital City! Marge: Look, the Cross-Town Bridge! (begin vamp) Bart: Wow! Homer: Wow. Tony Bennett: There's a swingin' town I know called... Capital City. Lisa: The Penny Loafer! Tony: People stop and scream hello in... Capital City. Homer: Kids, look! Street crime! Tony: It's the kind of place that makes a bum feel like a king. Homer: Wow, that's service! Tony: And it makes a king feel like some nutty, cuckoo, super-king. Marge: Look, it's Tony Bennett! Tony: Hey, good to see you. It's against the law to frown in... Capital City. You'll caper like a stupid clown when you chance to see... Marge: Fourth Street and 'D'! Tony: Fourth Street and 'D'! Yeah! Once you get a whiff of it, you'll never want to roam. Homer: The Duff brewery! Tony: Capital City, my home sweet, yeah! Capital City, that happy-tal city, It's Capital City, my home sweet swingin' home! All: Capital City! Yeah! (closing credits version:) Tony Bennett: There's a swingin' town I know called... Capital City. People stop and scream hello in... Capital City. It's the kind of place that makes a bum feel like a king. And it makes a king feel like some nutty, cuckoo, super-king. It's against the law to frown in... Capital City. You'll caper like a stupid clown when you chance to see... Fourth Street and 'D'! Yeah! Once you get a whiff of it, you'll never want to roam, From Capital City, my home sweet, swingin' home! 7G06, 9F16 The Itchy and Scratchy Show theme song {jb} They fight! And bite! They fight and bite and fight! Fight fight fight! Bite bite bite! The Itchy and Scratchy Show! 7F09 The Itchy and Scratchy Show theme song (bowdlerised version) {jb} They love! They share! They share and love and share! Love, love, love! Share, share, share! The Itchy and Scratchy Show! 7F11, 9F17 When the Saints Go Over There Homer: Oh, I want to be in that rumba, When the saints go over there. Oh over there! Oh over there! 7F18 Mt. Splashmore {rc} Krusty and Kids: I want to go to Mt. Splashmore, Take me, take me, take me, take me now! Now! Now! Now! Now! Now! Mt. Splashmore, take me there right now! 7F23 The Itchy and Scratchy Show theme song (closing credits version) {gg} They fought! and bit! They fought and bit and fought! Fought, fought, fought! Bit, bit, bit! The Itchy and Scratchy Show! 7F24 Michael's Lullabye for Homer {rc} Michael: Homer, the two of us need look no more. We both found what we are lookin' for. With a friend to call my own, I'll never be alone, And you, my friend, will see, you've got a friend in me. 7F24 Bart's Birthday Song for Lisa {rc} Bart: [to the tune of the Colonel Bogey March] Lisa, her teeth are big and green. Lisa, she smells like gasoline. Lisa, da da da Disa. She is my sister, her birthday, I missed-a. 7F24 Lisa's Birthday Song {rc} (As performed during the show, with piano and percussion:) Michael: Lisa, it's your birthday. God bless you this day. You gave me the gift of a little sister, And I'm proud of you today. Michael and Bart: Lisa, it's your birthday. Happy birthday, Lisa. Lisa, it's your birthday. Happy birthday, Lisa. Michael: I wish you love and good will. I wish you peace and joy. Bart: I wish you better than your heart desires. Michael: And your first kiss from a boy. Michael and Bart: Lisa, it's your birthday. Happy birthday, Lisa. Lisa, it's your birthday. Happy birthday, Lisa. Bart: Yeah! (As performed over the credits, with full musical back-up:) Michael and Bart: Lisa, it's your birthday. Happy birthday, Lisa. Lisa, it's your birthday. Happy birthday, Lisa. Michael: I wish you love and good will. I wish you peace and joy. Bart: I wish you better than your heart desires. Michael: And your first kiss from a boy. Michael and Bart: Lisa, it's your birthday. Happy birthday, Lisa. Lisa, it's your birthday. Happy birthday, Lisa. Bart: Take it away, Lis. (Lisa does a saxophone solo) Michael and Bart: Lisa, it's your birthday. (Lisa plays some more) Michael and Bart: Happy birthday, Lisa. Michael: Hoo! 8F01 The Deficit Rag The deficit rag, oh yeah the deficit rag, Those budget gaps can be a twelve-digit drag, I'm telling ya, that's the deficit, They really made a mess of it, That's the deficit rag! 8F01 The Trading Gap Shuffle The trading gap shuffle, We're in a heap of trouble, Doin' the trading gap shuffle, yes sir! 8F01 Lisa S. Say let me tell you about Lisa S. She's that little eight-year old muckrakeress, She caught a crook and she made him pay, And she did it all in just one day! That's what I would call, Bein' on the ball! 8F05 The Krusty The Klown Show Klosing Kredits Song Krusty: We've had lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of fun, But now the time has come, to go; If this old clown was found dead in his bed, Tomorrow, I'd be in Heaven, still doing this show! 8F08 Flaming Moe's {rc2} (the lines in brackets are sung in the background) When the weight of the world has got you down And you want to end your life, Bills to pay, a dead-end job, And problems with the wife. But don't throw in the tow'l, 'Cuz there's a place right down the block... Where you can drink your misery away... At Flaming Moe's.... (Let's all go to Flaming Moe's...) When liquor in a mug (Let's all go to Flaming Moe's...) Can warm you like a hug. (Flaming Moe's...) And happiness is just a Flaming Moe away... Happiness is just a Flaming Moe away... 8F11 Wall E. Weasel's Birthday Song Animatronic Robots: You're the birthday, you're the birthday, You're the birthday boy or girl... 8F11 We're Sending Our Love Down the Well {rc} (the singers are Troy McClure, Scott Christian, The Channel 6 weather girl (Kent Brockman's girlfriend), Bleeding Gums Murphy, Diamond Joe Quimby, Krusty the Klown, Princess Cashmere, Sting, Sideshow Mel, Rainier Wolfcastle (AKA McBain), Dr. Marvin Monroe, Captain Lance Murdoch, The Capital City Goofball, and an unknown man.) Sting: There's a hole in my heart As deep as a well For that poor little boy, Who's stuck halfway to Hell... Sideshow Mel: Though we can't get him out, We'll do the next best thing... McBain: We go on TV And sing, sing, sing! All: And we're sending our love down the well... Krusty: All the way down! All: We're sending our love down the well... Krusty: Down that well! (here the song is cut off) 8F11 Janey's Skipping Song {rc} Janey: One plus one plus three is five, Little Bart Simpson's buried alive! He's so neat, he's so sweet. Now the rats have Bart to eat! How many days until Bart croaks? One, two, three, four, ... 8F13 Talkin' Softball {rc} Well Mr. Burns had done it, The power plant had won it, With Roger Clemens clucking all the while, Mike Scioscia's tragic illness made us smile, While Wade Boggs lay unconscious on the barroom tile... We're talkin' softball... From Maine to San Diego. Talkin' softball... Mattingly and Canseco. Ken Griffey's grotesquely swollen jaw. Steve Sax and his run-in with the law. We're talkin' Homer... Ozzie and the Straw. We're talkin' softball... From Maine to San Diego. Talkin' softball... Mattingly and Canseco. Ken Griffey's grotesquely swollen jaw. Steve Sax and his run-in with the law. We're talkin' Homer... Ozzie and the Straw. 8F14 Homer's Lullaby for Maggie {rc} Homer: Go to sleep... And good night... La-la la la la la la... Dee-dee-dee... Dee-dee-dee... May your Christmas Days be bright! 8F18 You're a Dame and I'm a Fella {cb} Ned/Stanley: You're a dame and I'm a fella. Marge/Blanche: Stanley, stop, or I'll tell Stella. Ned/Stanley: All I want is one embrace. Marge/Blanche: I'll twist this bottle in your face. 8F18 New Orleans {rc2} Wiggum: Long before the SuperDome, Where the Saints of football play, Lived a city that the damned called home, Hear their hellish roundelay... Cast: New Orleeeans... Home of pirates, drunks, and whores! New Orleeeans... Tacky, overpriced, souvenir stores! If you want to go to Hell, you should make that trip to the Sodom and Gomorrah on the Mississipp'! New Orleeeans... Stinking, rotten, vomiting, vile! New Orleaaans... Putrid, brackish, maggoty, foul! New Orleeeans... Crummy, lousy, rancid, and rank! New Orleeeans! 8F18 Blanche's Song Marge/Blanche: I thought my life would be a Mardi Gras, A never ending party - hah! I'm a faded southern Dame without a dime. 8F18 Just a Simple Paperboy {cb} Apu/Steve: I am just a simple paperboy, No romance do I seek... I just wanted forty cents, For my deliveries last week... Will this bewitching floozy, Seduce this humble newsie? Oh, what's a paperboy to... Dooo? 8F18 Stella! {cb} Ned/Stanley: STELLLAAAA! STELLLAAAA! Can't you hear me yella! You're puttin' me through Hella! Stella... STELLLAAAA! 8F18 The Kindness of Strangers {cb} Marge/Blanche: Whoever you are, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers... (music begins) Cast: You can always depend on the kindness of strangers... To pluck up your spirits, and shield you from dangers... Marge/Blanche: Now here's a tip from Blanche you won't regret... Cast: A stranger's just a friend you haven't met... You haven't met... STREETCAR! 8F19 You're Wife Don't Understand You, but I Do Lurleen: You work all day, for some old man, Sweat and break your back, Then you go home to your castle, But your queen won't cut you slack. That's why you're losin' all your hair, That's why you're overweight, That's why you flipped your pickup truck Right off the interstate. There's a lot of bull they hand you, There's nothin' you can do, Your wife don't understand you, but I do, I said your wife don't understand you, but I do! (the above is the version Lurleen sings at the Beer-N-Brawl; the CD version has an extra verse somewhere:) Now you talk so tough, act so rough, But darling you can't hide, The heartache and the sadness, That's buried deep inside. 8F19 Bagged Me a Homer Lurleen: Oh the bases were empty on the diamond of my heart, When the coach called me up to the plate, I'd been swingin', and missin', at lovin' and kissin', My average was point double oh eight. So I spit on my hands, knocked the dirt from my spikes, And pointed right towards centre field, This time I'm hitting a home run, This time the love is for real. I'll slide... I'll steal... I'll sacrifice A lovin' fly for you, I been slumping all season but now I found a reason, I struck on a love that is true. I used to play the field, I used to be a roamer, But the season's turning 'round for me now, I finally bagged me a homer. That's right, I finally bagged me a Homer. 8F19 Bunk With Me Tonight Lurleen: In this trailer, I get so cold and lonely, Lying there awake at night, muttering if only You weren't married, So I might ask you To bunk with me tonight, Bunk with me tonight, oh, bunk with me tonight, I'm asking, will you bunk with me tonight. 8F19 Stand By Your Manager Lurleen: His name is Homer, he's quite a man, I tried to kiss him, but Homer ran. Sure wish I could say, that I was his, I hope that Marge knows, just how lucky she is. 8F23 The First Annual Montgomery Burns Award For Outstanding Achievement In The Field Of Excellence song {rl} All singers: It's the first annual Montgomery Burns Award for... Male singers: Outstanding achievement in... Female singers: The field of... All singers: Excellence! 8F24 Kamp Krusty Song {cb} Campers: Hail to thee, Kamp Krusty, By the shores of Big Snake Lake. Though your swings are rusty, We know they'll never break. Kearney: Louder! Faster! Campers: From your gleaming mess hall, To your hallowed baseball field, Your spic n' span infirmary, Where all our wounds are healed. Hail to thee, Kamp Krusty, Below Mount Avalanche. We will always love Kamp Krusty, A registered trademark of the Krusty Corporation, All rights reserved! 9F01 When the Fire Starts to Burn Homer: When the fire starts to burn, There's a lesson you must learn. Something, something, then you see, You'll avoid catastrophe! D'oh!!! 9F02 Blimpy Boy Homer: Hey there, blimpy boy, flying through the sky so fancy free... (Homer sings this again later, much saddened after selling his Duff blimp ride.) 9F02 Little Miss Springfield Pageant Opening Number Contestants: Out on our own! Making it work! Gasping for air! Having it all! ... Checking it out! Caring 'bout us! Making a wish! Dreaming a dream! Krusty: Little Miss Springfield, Which one will it be? Contestants: Me! 9F02 Little Miss Springfield Krusty: L, the losers in her wake, I, the income she will make. T is for her tooth-filled mouth, T is for her tooth-filled mouth... 9F03 The Itchy and Scratchy Movie theme song (computerised voices) They fight! And bite! They fight and bite and fight! Fight fight fight! Bite bite bite! The Itchy and Scratchy Movie! 9F04 Homer's Baloney Song Homer: My baloney has a first name, it's H-O-M-E-R, My baloney has a second name, it's H-O-M-E-R... 9F05 Tribute to Mr. Burns Smithers: There is a man, Chorus: There is a man! Smithers: A certain man, Chorus: A certain man! Smithers: A man whose grace and handsome face are known across the land. You know his name, Chorus: You know his name! Smithers: It's Mr. Burns, Chorus: It's Mr. Burns! Smithers: He loves a smoke, enjoys a joke, Burns & Chorus: Ah ha ha ha! Smithers: Why he's worth ten times what he earns. Chorus: He's Mr. Burns! Burns: I'm Mr. Burns! Smithers: He's Monty Burns! Burns: I'm MR. Burns! Smithers & Chorus: To friends he's known as Monty but to you it's Mr. Burns! Smithers: Bur-bur-bur-bur-Burns. Burns: Burns! 9F07 Mr. Plow Jingle Homer: Call Mr. Plow, That's my name, That name again Is Mr. Plow. 9F07 Plow King Jingle {gr} Linda Ronstadt: When the snow starts a-fallin' There's a man you should be callin' That's KL5-4796, Let it ring! Mr. Plow is a loser, And I think he is a boozer, Barney & Linda: So you better make that call to the Plow King! 9F07 Mr. Plow Rap Homer: Boom-chi-cha-boom-chi-cha-boom-chi-boom I'm Mr. Plow, and I'm here to say, I'm the plowin'est guy in the USA. I got a big plow and I'll move a lot of things, Like your cow if you have one... 9F07 Mr. Plow Jingle (Spanish version) Linda Ronstadt: Senor Plow no es macho, Es solamente un borracho... 9F09 Bad Cops Bad cops, bad cops, Bad cops, bad cops. Bad cops, bad cops, Bad cops, bad cops. Springfield cops are on the take, But what do you expect for the money we make? Whether in a car or on a horse, We don't mind using excessive force! Bad cops, bad cops, Bad cops, bad cops.. 9F10, 3F31 Flintstones Theme (Homer version) Homer: Simpson! Homer Simpson! He's the greatest guy in history, From the, town of Springfield! He's about to hit a chestnut tree! Waaaah! 9F10 Monorail {rc} Lyle Lanley: Well, sir, there's nothing on earth Like a genuine, Bona fide, Electrified, Six-car Monorail! What'd I say? Ned Flanders: Monorail! Lyle Lanley: What's it called? Patty+Selma: Monorail! Lyle Lanley: That's right! Monorail! [crowd chants `Monorail' softly and rhythmically] Miss Hoover: I hear those things are awfully loud... Lyle Lanley: It glides as softly as a cloud. Apu: Is there a chance the track could bend? Lyle Lanley: Not on your life, my Hindu friend. Barney: What about us brain-dead slobs? Lyle Lanley: You'll be given cushy jobs. Abe: Were you sent here by the devil? Lyle Lanley: No, good sir, I'm on the level. Wiggum: The ring came off my pudding can. Lyle Lanley: Take my pen knife, my good man. I swear it's Springfield's only choice... Throw up your hands and raise your voice! All: Monorail! Lyle Lanley: What's it called? All: Monorail! Lyle Lanley: Once again... All: Monorail! Marge: But Main Street's still all cracked and broken... Bart: Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken! All: Monorail! Monorail! Monorail! [big finish] Monorail! Homer: Mono... D'oh! 9F11 It's a Duff World Animatronic Robots: Duff beer for me, Duff beer for you, I'll have a Duff, You have one, too. (repeat ad nauseam) 9F11 Duff Rap {rl,rg} Lincoln: We-e-ll, I'm Rappin' A.B. and I'm here to say, if you want to drink beer, well Duff's the only way! I said the only way! Break down! 9F13 If You Think I'm Cuddly Flanders: If you think I'm cuddly, And you want my comp'ny, Come on, wifey, let me know-ow-ow-ow... 9F13 The Mediocre Presidents {rc} All: We are the mediocre presidents. You won't find our faces on dollars or on cents! There's Taylor, there's Tyler, There's Fillmore and there's Hayes. There's William Henry Harrison, Harrison: I died in thirty days! All: We... are... the... Adequate, forgettable, Occasionally regrettable Caretaker presidents of the U-S-A! 9F14 When I Was Seventeen Homer: Well beer, we've had some great times. [wistfully] When I was seventeen, I drank some very good beer, I drank some very good beer I purchased with a fake ID, My name was Brian McGee, I stayed up listening to Queen, When I was seventeen. 9F15 Lisa's Protest Song Lisa: Come gather 'round children, It's high time ye learned, 'Bout a hero named Homer And a devil named Burns. We'll march till we drop, The girls and the fellas, We'll fight till the death Or else fold like umbrellas. (later) So we'll march day and night, By the big cooling tower, They have the plant, But we have the power. (the last verse is later sung twice again by everyone striking.) 9F16 Itchy and Scratchy Show theme song (closing credits version) They fought! and bit! They fought and fought and bit! Fought, fought, fought! Bit, bit, bit! It was the Itchy and Scratchy Show! 9F16 Ned Flanders Show theme song Hens love roosters, geese love ganders, Everyone else loves Ned Flanders! Homer: Not me! Everyone who counts loves Ned Flanders! 9F18 Whacking Day Hymn Chorus: O whacking day, o whacking day, Our hallowed snake-skull cracking day. Soprano: We'll break their backs, Gouge out their eyes, Their evil hearts, We'll pulverise. Chorus: O whacking day, o whacking day, May God bestow His grace on thee. 9F19 The Gabbo Show theme song Gabbo: You're gonna like me, You're gonna love me, 'Cause I can do most anything. I can do the hully gully, I can imitate Vin Scully! (spoken) Let's take time out from that triple play for this message from Farmer Dan's Pure Pork Sausages! Mmm, mmm... I'll give out shiny dimes, I'll travel back in time! Dolls: You're gonna like him, You're gonna love him, It's the greatest show in to-ow-ow-ow-own! Gabbo! 9F21 Al Capone's Vault Homer: There was nothing in Al Capone's vault, But it wasn't Geraldo's fault! D'oh! 9F21 Baby on Board (first draft) Homer: Baby on board, Something, something, Burt Ward... 9F21 Baby on Board {bb} B-Sharps: Baby on board, how I've adored, That sign on my car's windowpane A bounce in my step; loaded with pep, 'Cause I'm driving in the carpool lane. Call me a square; friend, I don't care That little yellow sign can't be ignored I'm telling you it's mighty nice Each trip's a trip to paradise With my baby on board. 9F21 Surgeon-General C. Everett Koop B-Sharps: For all the latest medical poop, Call Surgeon General C. Everett Koop. Poo poo pa-doop. 9F21 Revolution 8 Japanese Conceptual Artist: Number eight. Barney: (belch) Japanese Conceptual Artist: Number eight. Barney: (belch) Japanese Conceptual Artist: Number eight. Barney: (belch) Japanese Conceptual Artist: Number eight. Barney: (belch) Japanese Conceptual Artist: Number eight. Barney: (belch) 1F01 Happy Birthday (Ramones version) {jc} Ramone 1: I'd just like to say this gig sucks! Ramone 2: Hey, up yours, Springfield. Ramone 1: One, two, three, four! [Abrasive guitar music begins] Happy Birthday to you! (Happy Birthday!) Happy Birthday to you! (Happy Birthday!) Happy Birthday, Burnsey, Happy Birthday to you! Ramone 3: Go to hell, you old bastard. [The curtain falls] Ramone 4: Hey, I think they liked us! 1F06 Springfield, Springfield {jc} Bart: OK, we're young, rich, and full of sugar. What do we do? Milhouse: [yelling] Let's go crazy, Broadway style! Both: [singing] Springfield, Springfield, it's a hell of a town: The schoolyard's up and the shopping mall's down. The stray dogs go to the animal pound, Bart: Springfield, Springfield! Milhouse: Springfield, Springfield! Sailor: New York, New York! Bart: New York is that-a-way, man! Sailor: Thanks, kid! Both: [singing] It's a hell of a...toooown! 1F07 Oh Mindy Homer: Oh Mindy, you came and you gave without flaking, But I sent you Ben-gay, Oh Andy, you kissed me and stopped me from something, And I... 1F07 Oh Margie Homer: Oh Margie, you came and you found me a turkey, On my vacation away from workie... 1F10 Who need the Kwik-E-Mart? {jc} Apu: You see, whether igloo, hut, or lean-to, or a geodesic dome, There's no structure I have been to, which I'd rather call my home. When I first arrived, you were all such jerks, But now I've come to looooooove your quirks. Maggie with her eyes so bright, Marge with hair by Frank Lloyd Wright, Lisa can philosophise, Bart's adept at spinning lies, Homer's a delightful fella, sorry 'bout the salmonella. Homer: Heh heh, that's OK. Apu: Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart? Now here comes the tricky part. Oh, won't you rhyme with me? Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart? Marge: Their floors are stick-E-Mart, Lisa: They made Dad sick-E-Mart, Bart: Let's hurl a brick-E-Mart, Homer: The Kwik-E-Mart is real... D'oh! OFF: Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart? Apu: Not meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...[held for next three lines] OFF: Forget the Kwik-E-Mart, Goodbye to Kwik-E-Mart, Who needs the Kwik-E-mart? Apu: Not me. 1F14 Nacho Man Homer: Nacho nacho man, I want to be a nacho man. 1F21 Play It Cool {jc} Homer: Dad, that will never work. If you want to make your move, you got to play it...cool. [jazz bass and cymbals start playing] Now what you gotta do If you wanna get a kiss Is act real smooth And make your move like this: [stands up, stretches and yawns, and sits down again, arm still outstretched so it lands around Abe's shoulder] Abe: Oh, I see! So if I take your advice And make your patented move, Then my chances for love Will slightly improve? [does the Homer move] Homer: [giggles] Now what's that rule? Abe: Play it cool. 1F21 The Sound of Grampa {jc} Hello Grampa, my old friend, Your busy day is at an end. Your exploits have been sad and boring, They tell a tale that's worth ignoring. When you're alone, the words of your story Will echo down the rest-home hall, 'Cause no one at all, Can stand the sound Of Grampa. 2F02 KBBL Jingle No sports, no rock, no information, For mindless chatter, we're your station! 2F02 "Vote Quimby" Jingle Without a Mayor Quimby, our town would really stink, We wouldn't have a tire yard, or a mid-size roller rink. We wouldn't have our gallows, or our shiny Bigfoot trap, It's not the mayor's fault that the stadium collapsed! 2F03 A Chorus Line OFF: One! chorus line of people, Dancing till they make us stop, Willie: Too! Everyone: Many dancing people, Covered with blood, gore and glop. Just one sniff of that fog And you're inside out, It's worse than that flesh-eating virus You've read about. Vital organs, they are what we're dressed in. The family dog is eyeing Bart's intestine. Hap-py Hal-lo-we'en! 2F05 Sherri's and Terri's Skipping Song {jc} Sherri & Terri: At seven tonight the games begin, Bart vs. Lisa: who will win? Their father's fat and their mother's thin, And Grampa Simpson reeks of gin! Abe: Hey! [sniffs himself] That's "Obsession" for men. 2F05 The Star-Spangled Banner (Krusty version) Krusty: O say can you see, By the da da da light, What so proudly we laaaaah, By the aaaah aaaah oh... Shouldn't have turned down those cue cards. Oooooh... 2F06 Under the Sea Homer: [funky calypso music] Under the sea, Under the sea, There'll be no accusations, Just friendly crustaceans Under the Seeeeeeeeeeeeea! 2F09 We do! (The Stonecutters Song) (this is the version sung during the drinking scene; the version over the closing credits changes "Who leaves Atlantis off the maps?" to "Who keeps Atlantis off the maps?") (the characters named beneath sing their lines over the voices of everyone else singing the line.) All: Who controls the British crown? Who keeps the metric system down? We do! We do! Karl: Who leaves Atlantis off the maps? Lenny: Who keeps the Martians under wraps? Alien: We do! We do! All: Who holds back the electric car? Who makes Steve Gutenberg a star? We do! We do! Skinner: Who robs cavefish of their sight? Homer: Who rigs every Oscar night? All: We do! We do! 2F31 Moe Better Booze Moe: Money gets you one more round, Drink it down, You stupid clown. Money gets you one more round, Then you're out on your ass! 2F18 See My Vest Burns: Some men hunt for sport, Others hunt for food, The only thing I'm hunting for, Is an outfit that looks good... See my vest, see my vest, Made from real gorilla chest, Feel this sweater, there's no better, Than authentic Irish setter. See this hat, 'twas my cat, My evening wear - vampire bat, These white slippers are albino African endangered rhino. Grizzly bear underwear, Turtles' necks, I've got my share, Beret of poodle, on my noodle It shall rest, Try my red robin suit, It comes one breast or two, See my vest, see my vest, See my vest. Like my loafers? Former gophers - It was that or skin my chauffeurs, But a greyhound fur tuxedo Would be best, So let's prepare these dogs, Mrs. Potts: Kill two for matching clogs, Burns: See my vest, see my vest, Oh please, won't you see my vest. 2F32 Jazzman Lisa: When the Jazzman's testifyin', a faithless man believes. He can sing you into paradise, or bring you to your knees. Jazzman, take my blues away, Make my pain the same as yours with every change you play. Jazzman, oh, Jazzman. 2F22 Hark To The Tale Of Nelson Martin: Hark to the tale of Nelson, And the boy he loved so dear... They remained the best of friends, For years and years and years. 2F20 Tito Puente's Revenge Singer: Wounds won't last long, but an insulting song Burns will always carry with him, So I'll settle my score on the salsa floor, With this vengeful Latin rhythm. Chorus: Bu-urns! Singer: Con un corrazon de perro. Chorus: Senor Bu-urns! Singer: El diablo con dinero. It may not surprise you, But all of us despise you, Please die, And fry, In Hell, You rotten, Rich old wretch, Adios viejo! 3F01 We Got You Babe Maude Flanders: They say your folks can't pay the rent, So we're watching you by act of government. Ned Flanders: Well I don't know if the allegations are true, But you got us, and baby we got you. Both: Babe, we got you babe. 3F02 Bart's Soul Skipping Song Sherri & Terri: Bart sold his soul, and that's just swell, (& their souls) Now he's going straight to - Hello operator, give me number nine, and if you disconnect... 3F03 Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Man Apu: I'm Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club man, I hope I will enjoy my show... 3F04 Just Don't Look Paul Anka: To stop those monsters 1-2-3, Here's a fresh new way that's trouble-free, It's got Paul Anka's guarantee... Lisa: Guarantee void in Tennessee. Both: Just don't look! Just don't look! Just don't look! Just don't look! Just don't look! Just don't look! 3F08 The Stingy and Battery Show theme song Krusty: They bite! And light! And bite and light and bite! Bite bi-bi-yadda-yadda... You know what I'm talkin' about. 3F09 Hey Big Spender Homer: Hey big spender, dig this blender, Rainbow suspenders, hey big spender! Citizens: We surrender! Homer: Speeeeeeend some dough at table three. 3F09 Table Five (to the tune of "Staying Alive") Homer: Ah ah ah ah Table Five, Table Five, Ah ah ah ah Table Fiiii-i-i-iii-i-i-iii-i-i-ive, Table Five, Table Five. 3F13 Jebediah Springfield Song {rl} Hitch that team up, Jebediah Springfield, Whip them horses, let them wagons roll, That a people might embiggen America, That a man might embiggen his soul, His soul... His soul... 3F16 I'm An Amendment Kid: Hey, who left all this garbage on the steps of Congress? Amendment: I'm not garbage. (starts singing) I'm an amendment-to-be, yes an amendment-to-be, And I'm hoping that they'll ratify me. There's a lot of flag-burners, Who have got too much freedom, I want to make it legal For policemen to beat'em. 'Cause there's limits to our liberties, At least I hope and pray that there are, 'Cause those liberal freaks go too far. (spoken) Kid: But why can't we just make a law against flag-burning? Amendment: Because that law would be unconstitutional. But if we changed the Constitution... Kid: Then we could make all sorts of crazy laws! Amendment: Now you're catching on! Kid: What if people say you're not good enough to be in the Constitution? (sings) Amendment: Then I'll crush all opposition to me, And I'll make Ted Kennedy pay. If he fights back, I'll say that he's gay. (spoken) Congressman: Good news, Amendment! They ratified ya! You're in the US Constitution! Amendment: Oh yeah! 3F15 Dr. Zaius Chimpanzee 1: Help! The human's about to escape. Troy: Get your paws off me, you dirty ape! Chimpanzee 2: (gasp) He can talk! Orangutans: He can talk! He can talk! He can talk! He can talk! He can talk! He can talk! Troy: And I can sing! Chimp Nurse: Oooh! Help me, Dr. Zaius! Orangutans: Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius! O, Dr. Zaius! Orangutan 1: Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius! Troy: What's wrong with me? Dr. Zaius: I think you're crazy. Troy: I want a second opinion. Dr. Zaius: You're also lazy. Orangutans: Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius! O, Dr. Zaius! Orangutan 1: Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius! Troy: Can I play the piano any more? Dr. Zaius: Of course you can! Troy: Well I couldn't before. (plays piano) Orangutans: Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius! ... 3F15 Chimpan-A to Chimpan-Z Troy: I hate every ape I see, From chimpan-A to chimpanzee, No, you'll never make a monkey out of me! (Statue of Liberty rises) O my God! I was wrong! It was Earth, all along! You've finally made a monkey, Apes: Yes we've finally made a monkey, Troy: Yes you've & Apes: finally made a monkey out of me! Troy: I love you, Dr. Zaius! 3F18 Skinner and the Superintendant Skinner, with his crazy explanations, The superintendant's gonna need his medication, When he hears Skinner's lame exaggerations, There'll be trouble in town tonight! 3F18 Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel (the lyrics to this song appeared on-screen.) Some folk'll never eat a skunk But then again, some folk'll... Like Cletus The slack-jawed yokel. ... Most folk'll never lose a toe And then again, some folk'll... Like Cletus The slack-jawed yokel. 3F18 The Tomfoolery of Professor John Frink Frink: Professor Frink, Professor Frink, He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think, He likes to run, and then the thing, With the... person... 3F23 Monty Burns Smithers: I work for Monty Burns, M-m-m-m-m-Monty Burns... 3F23 I Like Me Remedial Students: I like me, I like me, I'm as good as I can be, With a smile and a wave and happy melody, I'm as good as I... 3F23 Scorpio Scorpio! He'll sting you with his dreams of power and wealth. Beware of Scorpio! His twisted twin obsessions are his plot to rule the world And his employees' health. He'll welcome you into his lair, Like the nobleman welcomes his guest. With free dental care and a stock plan that helps you invest! But beware of his generous pensions, Plus three weeks paid vacation each year, And on Fridays the lunchroom serves hot dogs and burgers and beer! He loves German beer! 4F06 The Spring In Springfield Homer: You could close down Moe's, Or the Kwik-E-Mart, And nobody would care, But the heart and soul Of Springfield's in Our Maison Derriere! (music starts) Belle: We're the sauce on your steak, We're the cheese in your cake, We put the spring in Springfield. Dancing Girl 1: We're the lace on the nightgown, Dancing Girl 2: The point after touchdown, Belle and Dancing Girls: Yes we put the spring in Springfield. Belle: We're that little extra spice That makes existence extra-nice, A giddy little thrill At a reasonable price. Lovejoy: Our only major quarrel's With your total lack of morals. Dancing Girl 3: Our skimpy costumes ain't so bad, Dancing Girl 4: They seem to entertain your dad! Belle and Dancing Girls: The gin in your martini, The clams on your linguine, Yes we keep the (Belle flicks Bumblebee Man's antenna) In Springfield! Wiggum, Krusty, and Skinner: We remember our first visit, Mayor Quimby: The service was exquisite! Mrs Quimby: Why Joseph, I had no idea! Mayor Quimby: Come on now, you were working here! Grampa and Jasper: Without it we'd have had no fun Since March of 1961! Bart: To shut it down now would be twisted, Jimbo, Dolph, and Kearney: We just heard this place existed! Dancing Girls: We're the highlights in your hairdo, Apu: The extra arms on Vishnu, Dancing Girls: So don't take the (Barney opens a Krusty-in-the-box) Mob: We won't take the (Sideshow Mel blows on his slide-whistle) Everyone: Yes let's keep the (Moe crashes two garbage can lids together) In Springfield! (Krusty hits his face with a pie, Willy accidentally hits Lenny in the head with a sledgehammer, Wiggum and the Comic Book Guy bounce their bellies together, Burns honks the horn on his antique car, Cap'n MacAllister reels in a fish, and Barney burps.) 4F06 Marge's Countersong Marge: Morals and ethics and carnal forbearance... 4F04 Can I Borrow A Feeling? Kirk Van Houten: Can I borrow a feelin'? Could you send me a jar of love? Hurtin' hearts need some healin', Take my hand with your glove of love! 4F01 Joy to the World {ol} Nelson: Joy to the world the teacher's dead! They barbecued her head! What happened to her body? We flushed it down the potty And 'round and 'round it goes And 'round and 'round it... goes... 3G03 Minimum Wage Nanny Lisa: If you wish to be our sitter, Please be sweet and never bitter. Help us with math and book reports, Bart: Might I add - eat my shorts! (spoken) Lisa: Bart! Bart: Just cuttin' through the treacle. Lisa: If Maggie's fussy, dont avoid her, Bart: Let me get away with moider! Lisa: Teach us songs and magic tricks, Homer: Might I add - no fat chicks! (spoken) Marge: Homer! Lisa: The nanny we want is kindly and sage, Homer: And one who will work for minimum wage. Lisa: Hurry nanny, things are grim, (spoken) Grampa: I'll do it! Bart & Lisa: Anyone but him. 3G03 Cut Every Corner Shary: If there's a task that must be done, Don't turn your tail and run, Don't pout, don't sob, Just do a half-assed job! If... you... cut every corner It is really not so bad, Everybody does it, Even mom and dad. If nobody sees it, Then nobody gets mad, Bart: It's the American way! Shary: The policeman on the beat Needs some time to rest his feet. Chief Wiggum: Fighting crime is not my cup of tea! Shary: And the clerk who runs the store Can charge a little more For meat! Apu: For meat! Shary: And milk! Apu: And milk! Both: From 1984! Shary: If... you... cut every corner, You'll have more time for play, Shary & OFF: It's the American waaaaay! 3G03 A Boozehound Named Barney Shary: In front of a tavern, Flat on his face, A boozehound named Barney Is pleading his case. Barney: Buy me a beer, Two bucks a glass. Come on, help me, I'm freezing my ass. Buy me brandy, A snifter of wine. Who am I kidding? I'll drink turpentine. Moe: Move it, ya drunk, Or I'll blast your rear end. Barney: I found two bucks! Moe: Then come in, my friend! Shary: And so, let us leave On this heartwarming scene. Bart: Can I be a boozehound? Homer: Not till you're fifteen. 3G03 The Fritz Schnackenpfefferhausen Bratwurst song Rainier Wolfcastle: Mein bratwurst has a first name, It's F-R-I-T-Z, Mein bratwurst has a second name, It's S-C-H-N-A-C-K-E-N-P-F-E-F-F-E-R-H-A-U-S-E-N. 3G03 Cut Every Corner (Reprise) Shary: If there's a job that must be done, You'll find it's much more fun... (spoken) Homer: You'll find it's even more fun if you get it for me! Shary: But the beer will taste more sweet, If you get up off your seat... (spoken) Bart: Lady, the man asked for a beer, not a song! Shary: Do-re-mi-fa-so... 3G03 Happy With Things The Way They Are Homer: Around the house, I never lift a finger, As a husband and a father, I'm sub-par. I'd rather drink a beer Than win father of the year, I'm happy with things the way they are. Lisa: I'm getting used to never getting noticed, Bart: I'm stuck here till I can steal a car. Marge: The house is still a mess, And I'm going bald from stress, Bart, Marge, & Lisa: But we're happy, just the way we are. Ned: They're not perfect, But the Lord says "Love thy neighbour." Homer: Shut up, Flanders. Ned: Okely-dokely-do. Shary: Don't think it's sour grapes, But you're all a bunch of apes, And so I must be leaving you! 4F12 The Itchy and Scratchy and Poochie Show theme song (Voice A is the normal theme song voice; voice B is a new, lower-pitched, more dog-like voice.) Voice A: They fight! And bite! Voice B: And bark! Voice A: They fight and bite and bite! Voice B: And bark! Voice A: Fight bite bark! Voice B: Woof woof woof! Voice A: The Itchy and Scratchy And Poochie Show! 4F12 Poochie Rap Poochie/Homer: The name's Poochie D And I rock the telly, I'm half Joe Camel And a third Fonzarelli. I'm the kung fu hippie From gangsta city, I'm a rappin' surfer, You the fool I pity. 4F14 Visiting Springfield Prison Krusty: I slugged some jerk in Tahoe, They gave me one to three. My high-priced lawyer sprung me On a technicality. I'm just visiting Springfield Prison, I get to sleep back home tonight. 4F20 "Love-Matic Grampa" Theme {bjr} While shopping for some cans, An old man passed away. He floated up toward Heaven, But got lost along the way. Now he's the love-matic Grampa. The wise Socratic Grampa. He'll fill our hearts with looooooove. 4F22 You're Checkin' In {nh} Judge: How do you find the defendant? Juryman: He's guilty of mayhem, exposure indecent. Man: Freaked out behaviour both chronic and recent. Jury: Drinking and driving, narcotic possession. Man 2: And that's just page one of his ten page confession! Judge: I should put you away where you can't kill or maim us, But this is LA and you're rich and famous! [In the Betty Ford Centre] Criminal: I'm checking in. All: He's checking in. Criminal: I'm checking in, All: Checking Checking In, Criminal: No more pills or alcohol, No more pot or Demorol, No more stinking fun at all, I'm checking in. All: He's checking in, He's checking in. Doctor: No more looking pale and thin, No more bugs beneath your skin. Criminal: Hey, that's just my aspirin. All: Check it out, you're checking in! 4F23 The Skinner Song {jo} Kids: They call him Skinner, Skinner, Faster than lightning. No one you see, Is stricter than he... 3G02 "All in the Family" Parody {jo} Homer: Oy, the way the Bee Gee's played, Marge: Movies John Travolta made, Homer: Guessing how much Elvis weighed, Homer & Marge: Those were the days! Marge: And you knew where you were then, Homer: Watching shows like "Gentle Ben", Homer & Marge: Mister, we could use a man like Sheriff Lobo again! Homer: Disco Duck and Fleetwood Mac, Marge: Coming out of my eight-track, Homer & Marge: Michael Jackson still was black, those were the days! 3G02 WB Frog Song {jo} Frog: We're proud to present on the WB, another bad show that no one will see! [disgustedly walking off] Ah, I need a drink. 5F05 See the Angel Homer: Here's the angel, see the angel, it's my angel, no-one elses, next to the rakes. 5F06 Magna Carta Song {nh, je} Lisa: In 1215 at Runnymede, do da, do, da. The nobles and the king agreed, oh da doo da day. [pause] Marge, Bart & Lisa: On the closing day, The escrow agents pay Taxes, liens and interest, too Thanks to Fanny Mae. Bart: Pay back your bank! 5F24 Paint Your Wagon {nh} Clint & Man: Gonna paint our wagon, Gonna paint it good, We ain't braggin', We're gonna coat the wood. All: They're gonna paint their wagon, gonna paint it good, they ain't braggin', they're gonna coat the wood. [pause] Lee: I'm gonna paint this wagon, I'm gonna paint it fine, I'm going to use oil-based paint because this wood is pine. Women: Ponderosa Pine! 5F24 All Singing, All Dancing Wraparounds {nh} Lisa: You like musicals don't you dad? Homer: No, I don't, I think they're bad. They're fake and phony and totally wrong. Bart: Wake up dad, you're singing a song. Homer: I wouldn't, I couldn't, I hate that stuff. Marge: Now Homer, listen, I've had enough. In our family videos we have clearly seen, you're a singing, dancing, entertainment machine. [clips] Bart: Mom was right, your singing's a sin. You're as les misérable as Lee Marvin. Marge: Sure your dad's singing could make your hair curl, but you too Bart have sung and danced like a girl. Bart: Eep. [clips] Lisa: That was pretty bad Bart, but it could have been worse, you could have been carrying a sequined verse. Bart: I hate to dance, and prance and sing. That's really more of a Milhouse thing. Marge: I think you move like a young Baryshnikov. Snake: Nobody move, or I'll blow your heads off. All: Ohh. Snake: Ohh. Marge: It's a desperate criminal on the run from the law, please spare my children. Homer: And their damp-trousered pa. Snake: A singing family, it's worse than I feared, for hostage purposes, you're just too weird. Bye! Homer: See? All this singing scared him away, if we just talked like normal he'd probably stay. Lisa: Many people in this town sing like we do. There's Mr. Burns, there's Krusty, and even Apu. [clips] Lisa: Because he was singing, we overheard his plan, and could save those dogs from that mean old man. Bart: It still wasn't worth, Burns, a song and dance. Snake: I'm back so resume, wetting your pants. Homer: O.K Snake: Because of you all I've got a tune in my head, and the only way to stop it is to make you all dead. Snake: Say your prayers, and then it's kablamo. Uh-oh, I'll be back when I get some ammo. Bye! Homer: Even the criminals are beginning to croon. Marge: Homey, this whole town runs on a tune. Our churches, our clubs, our government too. Bart: Springfield swings like a pendulum do. Lisa: We can't even get any local laws passed, without everyone singing... like a big broadway cast. [clips] Homer: All right Marge, you've convinced me, there are more terrible things than musical comedies where everyone sings. Lisa: There is something worse. Bart: And it really does blow. All: When a long running series does a cheesy clip show! Snake: I'm back to commit phelonious assault, because your infernal singing, just would not halt. 5F23 Fishing! {nh} Homer: Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na Fishing! Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na Fishing! Fishing! Fishing... Fishing! 5F10 Canyonero {jr} Can you name the truck with four wheel drive, smells like a steak and seats thirty-five.. Canyonero! Canyonero! Well, it goes real slow with the hammer down, It's the country-fried truck endorsed by a clown! Canyonero! (Yah!) Canyonero! [Krusty:] Hey Hey The Federal Highway comission has ruled the Canyonero unsafe for highway or city driving. Canyonero! 12 yards long, 2 lanes wide, 65 tons of American Pride! Canyonero! Canyonero! Top of the line in utility sports, Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts! Canyonero! Canyonero! (Yah!) She blinds everybody with her super high beams, She's a squirrel crushing, deer smacking, driving machine! Canyonero!-oh woah, Canyonero! (Yah!) Drive Canyonero! Woah Canyonero! Woah! 5F12 Stealing a Car {nh} Homer: Stealing, Stealing, Stealing a car for Moe! De, de, de, de, Insurance fraud today! 5F09 The Garbage Man Can {em} Homer : Who can take your trash out? Stomp it down for you? Shake the plastic bag and do the twisty thingy-doo? The Garbage Man! Trash Men : Yes the Garbage Man Can! Homer + Trash Men : The Garbage Man can And he does it with a smile And never judges you. Marge : Who can take this diaper? Trash Man : I don't mind at all! Chief Wiggum : Who can clean me up before the big policeman's ball? The Garbage Maaaaan! Trash Men : Yes the Garbage Man can. U2 : The sanitation folks Are jolly friendly blokes. Courteous and easy-going The Edge : They'll mop up when you're oh- U2 and Trash Men : -ver flowin'! Bono : And tell you when your arse is showing'! Apu : Who can? Sideshow Mel : Who can? Ned Flanders : Who can? Oscar : Who can? All : The Garbage Man can! Bart and Lisa : Coz he's Homer Simpson, man! All : He cleans the world....for....you! [crowd cheers] AABF05 The Jedi Song {jo} Hamill: Luke, be a Jedi tonight! Just be a Jedi tonight! Hamill & Chorus: Do it for Yoda, while we serve our guests a soda. Hamill: Uh, and do it for Chewie and the Ewoks, and all the other puppets ... Hamill & Chorus: Luke, be a Jedi tonight! AABF06 Homer's Ned Song {jo} Homer: Nobody's gonna take my Ned, gonna teach him to have fu-uh-un! AABF07 Talk to the Hand Theme {jo} Female Singers: Talk to the hand, the face ain't listening... AABF07 The "Kids" Parody {jo} Kids: Adults! Adults: Kids! Kids: Adults! Adults: Kids! Kids: Adults! Lovejoy: Kids! You've had your fun, now we've had our fill. Homer: Yeah! You're only here 'cause Marge forgot her pill. Wiggum: Kids, you're all just scandalizing, vandalizing punks. Krusty: Channel-hopping, Ritalin-popping monkeys! Please don't quit the fan-club! Marge: Kids! I can nag and nag 'til my hair turns blue! Edna: Kids! You bum my smokes and don't say 'thank you'! Rod & Todd: Why can't you be like we are? Adults: Oh, what a bunch of brats! Moe: We oughta drown you just like cats! Bart: Adults! You run our lives like you're Colonel Klink! Nelson: Adults! You strut around like your farts don't stink! Lisa: Adults! You're such a drooling, boring, boozing boring bunch. Surly, meany, three-martini lunchers ... Ralph: I just ate a thumbtack! Milhouse: Adults! They're always telling us to ... Abe: ... shut your traps! Jasper: Eh ... we're fed up with all you whipper-snaps! Elderlies: We're tryin' to get some sleep here, it's almost six- fifteen! What's the matter with ... Adults: Don't you treat us like ... Kids: Can't you just lay off ... Elderlies: We're sick of all of you! All: Kids ... to ... day! AABF08 Pina Colonic {jo} Homer: Do you like pina colonics, and getting caught in the rain... passing out in the ocean... AABF09 Max Power {jo} Homer: Max Power, he's the man who's name you'd love to touch! But you mustn't touch! His name sounds good in your ear, but when you say it, you mustn't fear! 'Cause his name can be said by anyone! AABF15 Beer in the Coconut {rg, je} Homer: You put da beer in da coconut and drink it all up You put da beer in da coconut and throw da can away ... [throws a beer can at Ned] Ned: Homer! Homer: You throw da can away ... [throws another beer can] Ned: I said, Homer! Homer: You throw da can away. [he runs out of beer cans] --------------------------------------------------------------------------- ACKNOWLEDGMENTS {bb} Bob Beecher {bs} Brian Scearce {bjr} Benjamin Robinson (capsule) {cb} Chris Baird (capsule) {em} Ewan MacDonald {gg} Gary Gibson {gr} Glen Patrick Ryan {jb} J. D. Baldwin {jc} James Cherry (capsule) {je} Jordan Eisenberg {jo} John Ogan (incl. capsules) {jr} Jeremy Reaban {nh} Nicholas Hartley {ol} Ondre Lombard (capsule) {rc} Raymond Chen (capsule) {rc2} Ron Carter (capsule) {rg} Rebecca Gedalius {rl} Ricardo Lafaurie Jr. (incl. capsules) --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Search The Simpsons Archive: [searchButton] Search Help [ FAQs, Guides & Lists | Upcoming Episodes | Episode Guide | Capsules | Miscellaneous | Web Links | News | About | Home ] Last updated on September 22, 1999 by Jouni Paakkinen (jouni@snpp.com)