|
This was originally written between the writing of episodes
3 and 4. Some of it is out of date, particularly the stuff about
homepage.com, whom I no longer use.
A lot of people (two or three) have been asking me to write new episodes
of Dragon Ball Z Rewrite. The truth is that, while I'd love to churn
them out for you like that, the writing of an episode takes little more
work than some of you seem to think. Let me explain to you exactly
what goes into writing a single episode of the series.
-
I must get my inspiration for the episode. I usually think up jokes
during the day while I'm doing everyday things. I like to draw my
inspiration from real life. Like the other day I saw a guy trip and
fall on the street, which gave me the idea to have Raditz accidentally
fall on the wrong planet Earth and murder Sailor Moon. And when I
saw a young child hit by a car, I got the idea to have Chi-Chi destroy
a town (because cars are in towns.) This may seem easy, but sometimes
I'm not fortunate enough to happen upon inspiration like this, and I must
actually injure someone by myself. I got the idea for Piccolo to
take Gohan to a baseball game by hitting my neighbor over the head with
a baseball bat, and then setting his house on fire. Actually, I just
set his house on fire for fun. Of coarse, sometimes even then I can't
think up enough jokes to make a whole episode, so I must draw inspiration
from other comedy works. In other words, steal. I usually steal
jokes from old episodes of The Brady Bunch on Nick at Nite, and from Family
Circus comics. That's where I got the one about Chi-Chi telling everyone
Gokou was dead.
-
I must actually type it up. This too may seem easy, except that I'm
currently using a 4 MHz processor that i found at the garbage dump one
day. It is running Windows 98. This means that whenever I type
a letter into a word processor, it takes four to seven minutes to appear.
And sometimes it crashes, forcing me to start all over, often losing days
of work. Needless to say, this can get very frustrating, but I do
it for you, my fans. You're welcome.
-
After it is all typed up (not to mention spell checked, which takes several
days itself) it then must be translated. Did I mention my native
language is Lithuanian? Yes, it is. Since I don't actually
speak English, I must first translate everything into Portuguese.
Then, I use the AltaVista translation
service to translate to English. Then, since that automated translation
filter is far from accurate, I have my English-speaking friend Fredrico
correct things for me. Sometimes I'm worried Fredrico may change
things around without my knowing, since I can't read the end result anyway.
Anyway, the point is that Fredrico is lord almighty, and I cower before
his might, and also I like to drink my own piss, and Fredrico once had
five chicks at once.
-
Finally, I must upload it and get it on the internet. This is also
difficult, since the terms of service of my web space provider clearly
state that you may not "upload, post or otherwise transmit any Content
that is unlawful, harmful, threatening, abusive, harassing, tortious, defamatory,
vulgar, obscene, libelous, sarcastic, humorous, interesting, offensive
to bald midgets, hateful, invasive of another's privacy, uses the word
'bitch' more than is artistically necessary, or is otherwise objectionable"
Except for humorous and interesting, I violate every one of those.
So naturally, the continued existance of this web page requires quite a
few bribes. By slipping several hundred dollars a week into the hands
of a few homepage.com employees, and giving sexual favors to a few others,
I'm able to keep writing these. But its worth it to see the smiling
faces of a few anime dweebs. Well technically I don't actually see
the faces, but you get the idea.
So you see, this is not all as easy as some of you may think. But
don't worry, a new episode will be coming. Because I crave the adoration
of complete strangers.
   
|
|